Understanding Why You Overthink Is Only Half the Story

Understanding why you overthink can be incredibly validating. It helps you realise that you are not crazy and you are not stuck here. You mind and nervous system is truly trying to protect you in the only way it has learned.

You can understand different reason for WHY we overthink by reading my other blog HERE

As a therapist with 15+ years experience in mental health, I can tell you that insight alone rarely creates lasting change. You can understand every psychological theory about anxiety and still find yourself lying awake at two o’clock in the morning replaying a conversation from three days ago.

The question therefore becomes not simply, “Why do I overthink?” but, “How do I respond differently when my mind starts overthinking?”

In my practice, this is where change and healing really begins to happen.

When I am working alongside you, the aim is rarely to stop your brain from producing anxious thoughts altogether, because you do need to know when something is actually wrong.

Plus, every human mind has worries, anxious predictions, and self-doubt from time to time.

So instead when you’re doing the work, it’s better if your goal is to change the way you relate to your thoughts, so that they no longer control your attention, your emotions, or how you show up day to day.

The following strategies draw on decades of psychological research from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – these are the core intervention I use day to day in practice and across my work.

Rather than trying to eliminate difficult thoughts, they will help you develop a healthier relationship with them and, over time, reduce the hold that overthinking has on your life.

I know it might sound strange, but I believe in the power of befriending your thoughts and your wounds!

How to Stop Overthinking

When I am making a list of 3, it can be so so tough to decide what to share. I am so passionate that therapy is not a one-size-fits all, but I also appreciate this is a blog and learning is a large part of doing the work. I’m sharing three that are fresh in my mind, and that I would say I discuss fairly regularly in sessions, DMs, interviews etc

As always, take what resonates and leave what doesn’t – this is your healing journey

1. Learn to Notice When Thinking Has Spiralled into Overthinking

The first step has to be recognising the difference between helpful thinking and overthinking. Helpful thinking leads towards a decision, a solution, compassion, or acceptance. Overthinking on the other hand keeps you trapped in the same mental loop, asking the same questions without bringing you any closer to an answer.

When you notice you are overthinking, simply acknowledge that to yourself “I am overthinking”, “I am ruminating”, “I am obsessing” etc. Simply recognising this shift is powerful because it creates the opportunity to choose a different response instead of automatically following the spiral.

2. Stop Treating Every Thought as a Fact

One of the biggest reasons overthinking becomes so convincing is because we automatically believe what our minds tell us. However, thoughts are not facts. They are interpretations, predictions, memories, and stories that the brain produces in an attempt to make sense of the world.

When you notice an anxious thought, try adding the phrase, “I’m having the thought that…” before it. For example, instead of saying, “I’m going to embarrass myself,” try saying, “I’m having the thought that I’m going to embarrass myself.” This small change creates psychological distance and reminds you that a thought is something you experience, not necessarily something you must believe.

Read my blog on Reframing Negative Thoughts HERE

3. Stop Searching for Complete Certainty

One of the hardest but most freeing lessons is accepting that certainty is not something we can achieve in most areas of life. Whether it is relationships, career decisions, or how other people feel about us, there will always be an element of uncertainty.

Rather than asking, “How can I be 100% sure?” try asking, “What would I do if I accepted that I can never be completely certain?” This question gently shifts your attention away from endless analysis and back towards living according to your values.

Not sure about number 3? Read my blog on Why You Can’t Stop Overthinking HERE – it has the answers,